MILF
by Kinky Hyphen
Summary: Where Karin Haruno's mom is Sasuke -Karin's-boyfriend-of-eight-years-and-counting-and-about-to-implode- Uchiha's object of utter desire. SasuSaku.
1. Chapter 1

_-_

_Karin's Mom has it going on_

-

"Sasuke! Sasuke!" Karin Haruno cried out in the school parking lot, looking for her boyfriend.

Sasuke Uchiha strolled out of the metal doors, conversing with his best friend Naruto.

"Sasukeee!" she shrieked, skipping over to him.

"Hey, Karin." he said tiredly.

He did not want to hang out with his annoying girlfriend today at all. He wanted to go home and play the new Halo 3 with the dobe and Shikamaru.

"Wanna come over?" she asked. "My pool's been cleaned and shit, so let's go swimming!"

"Can't." was his terse reply.

"Why not?" she pouted, flipping her vibrant red hair over her shoulder. "It's a sunny day, there's vodka and lemonade and cookies at my house! And I bought a new bikini…" she trailed off suggestively.

"Can't." he repeated, blinking.

Naruto Uzumaki snorted. "No means no, Four-Eyes."

"Who asked you, blondie?" she sniped back cattily.

"The great Master-Chief. Come on, teme, let's go to your house and play Halo." he scuffed his beaten Vans. "Neji wants to try it out too. No fair that you got yours early."

"Only cause the rest of you are too stupid to pre-order. Look Karin, I already have plans.''

"But…but…Sasuke!" she whined. "We haven't spent any time together this month!"

"For a good reason." the blond-haired boy muttered under his breath.

Completely ignoring them and turning to look at the mouth of the parking lot, Karin shrieked again.

"Mother!"

At this, both boys snapped to attention.

_Is she really finally back from-_

_Foxy mama alert! Foxy mama alert! Whistle! Whistle!_

The blue-eyed boy gave a stupid grin and wolf-whistled. "Hey, Mrs Haruno!"

The dark-haired boy remained rooted to the spot as he watched as the electric-blue convertible with the terribly achingly familiar pink head pulled into the nearest parking spot.

The woman got out, and neatly shut the car door.

"Hello, darling." Mrs Haruno smiled with ruby-red lips.

"Mother! I thought you were supposed to be gone for another week!" the bespectacled girl cried out.

"I managed to pull off the job early and decided to pick you up." the older woman air-kissed her daughter on both cheeks before directing her gaze to the two males behind her.

"Hello, Naruto. I thought I recognized your whistle." she laughed, her green eyes glittering with amusement. "Hello, Sasuke. I hope you have been treating my lovely daughter well."

_What daughter?_ was the only coherent thought that ran though the Uchiha's head as he stared.

Was it just him, or did Karin's mom honestly get hotter after her business trip.

He knew it wasn't him when Naruto's eyes lingered on Mrs. Haruno's curvy form without batting an eyelash. Sasuke especially knew it wasn't him when other boys and girls in the parking lot decided to look over at the group.

Sasuke's tongue felt thick. He couldn't believe this. He was turning into a prepubescent school boy _again _over his girlfriend's mom.

Of course when Sasuke gets the courage to talk, Karin decided to step in. "Of course he's treating me right! You know how Sasuke is." she replied with a kiss to his pale cheek. He fought the urge to wipe off the clear lip gloss but nodded.

Mrs. Haruno giggled. "How could I forget?" she took a moment to move a piece of pastel hair sticking to her forehead. "Wow, isn't it warm out here? I expected the weather to be better by the time I got back." she paused once more to undo the buttons of her blouse to leave herself in a white camisole.

Karin gave her mother a curt nod. "Exactly! I was trying to convince Sasuke to come over and swim, but he has other plans." she finished with a frown.

Mrs Haruno shrugged. "You can't stop someone else's plans, Karin. We can invite him and Naruto over another time. I guess it'll just be me and you swimming."

"No wait!" Naruto shouted with a raise of his hand, "Me and Sasuke can go!"

Sasuke felt his left eye twitch. How the hell did he know that Naruto was gonna do that? Of course the thought of Mrs Haruno in a bathing suit…

_Uh oh, someone's pants are getting tighter. Down boy, down!_

"That's good. I guess I'll see you boys in a little bit." Mrs Haruno finished with a smile.

Naruto grinned. "Thanks a lot, Mrs. Haruno!"

She chuckled. "Call me Sakura, sweetie. We've known each other long enough."

The black-haired boy gave a dry swallow. Sakura….

He then watched as Karin and Mrs. Haru – Sakura, got in to the electric blue car and speed off. Sasuke fought the urge to leave his mouth slightly agape like his blonde friend.

"Come on teme! Let's get in your car and speed to our houses. We have to get there soon!" the blue-eyed boy hollered while pulling Sasuke to his black European car.

Sasuke grunted. "They're not gonna die by the time we get there."

"You never know!" the other retorted, shoving the key in the ignition.

Sasuke just sighed and shrank back from the hot leather of his seats.

-

_Karin's Mom has got it going on_

_-_

**hypheniated's AN: The idea was stuck in my head, you see. :P So I put it down in words. **

**KinkyK's AN: And of course, I just helped. :D And sadly no lemon needed. - sigh- **

**Inspired by Stacy's Mom by Fountains Of Wayne. Excellent song, BTW.**


	2. Chapter 2

_-_

_Karin can I come over after school?_

_-_

Sasuke drove at the speed limit, trying his hardest to not rush home and grab his swimming trunks and to control his shrieking-in-delight mind.

He always had a crush on Karin's mom. She made excellent food that rivalled his mother's, she was affectionate but not overly so, and was absolutely gorgeous.

He tried to calm himself down to prevent the blood rushing to his groin.

Naruto's endless babble provided a weak but effective distraction.

"Can you believe Neji? He totally beat me up for just helping Hinata up because she fell. What the hell?" he whined.

"Dobe. You didn't help her up. You just point-blank lifted her up, and asked if she was okay, and while you did that you lifted her skirt." Sasuke said tonelessly. "Of course Hyuga beat the shit out of you."

"That was an accident! Jeez, Neji should loosen up."

"Che, I'm sure it was also an accident when his fist slipped into your face." Sasuke replied with a roll of his eyes.

Naruto just narrowed his eyes at the Uchiha. "Just drive, teme."

"Exactly."

"Che. Anyway... I know someone's skirt that you would love to look under." Naruto said with his infamous grin.

The dark haired boy rolled his eyes. "Stop talking."

"No. I'm not gonna stop talking. Karin's mom is hot. Not even the h-o-t, but the h-a-w-t. That's how hot she is." Naruto exclaimed with a smile full of teeth.

"Dobe, she's older than us." Sasuke pointed out.

Naruto rolled his eyes in return. "So? She's hot and nice and better looking than your girlfriend."

"Didn't I just tell you stop talking." he replied. The blood was rushing back to his groin and he grimaced.

Naruto shrugged and swiped a piece of blonde hair out of his face. "I mean don't get me wrong, Karin is good looking in the sexy librarian type of way. Ooh, imagine Sakura a sexy librarian. Now that would be the perfect role play scenario."

Sasuke breathed heavily through his nose as he grit his teeth. "Naruto, stop the talking."

"Sheesh, what's wrong with you?" he asked with a cross of his arms. "You always get this way when we talk about Karin and Sakura."

"No offence, but I don't wanna compare my girlfriend to her mother in a way that makes want to dump my girlfriend and go to her mother."

Naruto took a moment to think it over. "Hm… good point." a smile then graced his lips.

"Bet those are the only two things stopping you."

Sasuke felt a shiver run down his back. "What two things?"

"You know. Age difference and the fact that, that's Karin's mom. I bet if that wasn't in the way, you'd be all over Sakura."

Why couldn't this loser just shut up before he got smacked? Sasuke slowed his car in front of Naruto's. "Shut up and get your shit so we can go."

"Gosh, what bit you on the ass?" Naruto hissed out before Sasuke got a hold of him across the seat. Naruto stuck his tongue out at the flustered Uchiha before darting into his house.

Sasuke sat there in the silence of his car to think. To think how stupid his best friend is and how he was actually right even though he was stupid.

He'd thought about Sakura in ways he shouldn't. He's thought about breaking up with Karin. He's thought about ways to get Sakura to like him.

But how could a gorgeous jet-set woman like Sakura like a handsome kid like him?

Sure, he was an Uchiha, sure he was smart, and sure he didn't act his age, but there was so much more to a relationship.

The thoughts always boggled his mind. Every time Sakura came back from one of her business trips or every time he visited Karin and she happened to be there, he couldn't stop making plans in his head.

Naruto was right. If it wasn't for age, and the fact Sakura was Karin's mother, then he would probably be all over her. He probably wouldn't be able to control himself around her. He probably would-

Sasuke slightly jumped when he heard Naruto knocking on the window of his car. He easily composed himself and unlocked the door.

"Gosh, I moved as fast as I could." Naruto said with a huff as he threw his stuff in the back seat.

Sasuke glanced at his friend out the corner of his eye and started up the car.

Of course the ride was going smooth and quiet before Naruto asked a question.

"So… just how old is Sakura?" he asked with a sly grin.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Here we mother-fucking-go-_again_.

-

They finally made it to Karin's house, ending the long-suffering Sasuke's interrogation.

Luckily Naruto didn't glean much information from him.

As they stumbled into the backyard, to their disappointment, only Karin was lounging by the poolside in a striped blue bikini.

"Hey you guys!" she trilled. "Mother's just gone in for a minute to get some snacks. Hop in or have a seat."

The blond didn't hesitate. He leapt into the cool, silky water.

The Uchiha took a seat by the redhead instead.

"I'm thirsty." He clarified to his best friend's look.

Naruto shrugged, and started to swim laps.

"I hope you don't mind, all I really have to drink is vodka and lemonade. Your parents wouldn't mind, no?" a husky voice murmured from behind.

The black-haired boy cracked his neck as he spun to look at the woman.

To his chagrin, she was wearing a yellow one-shouldered t-shirt that covered her torso, but exposed creamy endless legs with feet encased in bamboo flip-flops.

Her toned arms carried a tray of tall glasses, a bottle of Smirnoff, and a pitcher of lemonade.

"Mrs Haruno, let me help you." he said quietly as he stood up.

"Thank you, Sasuke." she said delicately, handing in the porcelain pitcher.

They were placed on a side table, where the pink-haired woman began to evenly mix the drinks.

"We only had a limited amount of lemonade, I'm afraid." she stared directly at Sasuke helplessly, as if the gods willed it to not have enough lemonade in the house.

"That's alright, Mrs H, we're good with the alcohol!" Naruto said merrily, fetching himself a full glass. "We hold liquor real well."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "He's lying to you. I hold liquor real well. He can barely even hold a cup." he claimed before grabbing the next filled glass.

Naruto glared at the Uchiha while Sakura stifled a giggle. "I believe you, but let's not spoil his fun." she replied after filling the last glass.

"Exactly teme, listen to your elders." Naruto said before sticking this tongue out at him.

Sasuke scoffed before taking a sip of the drink. "I'm older than you."

"Yeah, but you're not older than Sakura." he replied with another flick of his tongue.

Sakura giggled once more from watching the two boys. Karin just shook her head while grabbing a drink.

"It doesn't matter who's older than whom, can we just get back to pool business?" Karin questioned after setting her drink down.

"Damn. Who made you the pool Nazi?" Naruto mumbled after copying her actions.

Her red eyes narrowed. "Wanna say that again, loser?"

"Naw, it's okay." Naruto squeaked before making a splashing entrance back into the pool.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the two and turned his attention back to Sakura, who happened to be gone, leaving the yellow cover-up on the tiles.

He didn't realize exactly where she was till he heard a splash behind him.

His coal eyes looked at water trying to focus on her nimble form. She swam all the way to the first pair of pool steps and stepped out.

Oy, there it was again. Blood was definitely rushing south and it was rushing south real fast, but all he could do was watch as Sakura came out of the pool.

Her long pink hair dangling, wet down her back. Her pink eyelashes, glistening with silvery water. Her slender, voluptuous body, in a red bikini, walking towards him.

Sasuke couldn't help but eye every droplet of water that happened to roll off her body. He was especially watching the ones rolling down the valley of her breasts.

Goddamn, was it hot in here, or was it just him?

He gave one more glance at the older woman before jumping into the pool. He needed to cool down, and this was the only solution.

Thankfully, the cold water refreshed and lessened the burning in his body.

Someone embraced him from the back, pressing her breasts seductively into his spine.

"Mm, Sasuke, you're finally in the water." Karin purred.

That definitely busted the heat wave zipping through his body.

"Yeah." he said, deadpanned.

She clung to him like a koala baby until the blond climbed out and cannon balled into the water, spraying the pair.

Karin shrieked, flailing around as she let go of Sasuke. "You dickhead, you got water in my hair!"

"Karin darling, it's just hair." her mother sighed, shaking her own wet head.

"Yeah, Karin, it's not as if it was a book or something." Naruto mocked.

"Sasuke! Tell them that it's a big deal!" she whined.

The aforementioned boy was already out of the water. "It's just hair."

She sunk into the water, sulking.

"Sasuke, here's a towel." Sakura said hoarsely, passing a fluffy green towel to him.

"Thanks Mrs H." he said quietly again, starting to dry off his hair.

She gave him a sincere smile and looked over to her daughter huffing and puffing in the water. "Karin, if you're so worried about your hair, can you please get out the pool?"

She splashed the blonde once more before making her escape. "I'm not staying with him." she mumbled to him while sticking her tongue out.

He copied her actions and made sure to splash in her direction when he dove underwater.

Her body tensed as she fought the urge to yell. She took a deep breath and continued to the direction of her mother holding out another green towel.

Sakura shook her head. "Calm down Karin. It's just water."

"I know, but my hair is hard to fix after water. Especially chlorine water." she stated while catching the few droplets of water in her hair.

Sasuke smirked to himself when he caught Sakura rolling her eyes. "Then why'd you go in the pool?"

"Duh, my boyfriend was in there," she began, "but he left me alone with splashy over there." she finished while glaring at Naruto.

He glared back and tossed another wave of water near her. "Bring it on Karin." he taunted.

Her red eyes narrowed, she threw down her towel, and jumped into the pool.

Naruto's eyes widened and he widely began to swim to the other end of the pool.

Sasuke shook his head and watched as Karin got Naruto in a head lock. He placed the towel around his waist and noticed Sakura picking things up to take inside.

His hand reached out and touched the pitcher before her. "I'll help you." he called out while grabbing the tray and sticking it underneath his arm with the pitcher in his other hand.

She smiled. "Thank you."

He smirked in return and followed her into the house. She placed the bottle of Smirnoff back in the fridge and began to wash the cups and the pitcher.

Sasuke stood and watched her from the kitchen island. She might have been older, but her body was just as young looking as Karin's.

Wow, the things he could do with that body….

"I can't believe those two acting like kids out there." Sakura said with a smile as she watched her daughter and Naruto.

Sasuke snapped out of his thoughts and looked out the kitchen window. "I can't believe that's my girlfriend and my best friend."

She giggled. "Things work out in mysterious ways."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "For me, that's a definite."

"I believe that. I never pictured you having Naruto as a best friend. Or even having my daughter as a girlfriend." she replied.

He scoffed. "The same for me. It's like I attract people that annoy me or are the complete opposite of me."

Sakura giggled while drying her hands. "That's not true."

"Hn. I have exhibit A and B outside in the pool." he retorted.

She met his eyes and smiled. "That may be true, but I know for a fact I don't annoy you. And I'm not even close to being the opposite of you."

Sasuke nodded and broke her gaze. "Hn. That's true."

"Exactly," she paused to yawn, "well I'm gonna go shower off this chlorine water and then check my work email. I must be swamped with new stuff." she groaned.

An ebony eyebrow rose. "I thought you just got back from a trip."

She sighed while running her slender fingers through her curly, damp, pink hair. "Yes, but I got off the trip early, so I have a little extra work."

''Hn. I wouldn't work on it just yet, if I were you.'' he proclaimed.

"I know, but I have a job. Something has to pay the bills on this house." she stated with her eyes wandering outside.

"What kind of work is it?" he asked with genuine interest. He never really knew what Sakura did for a living, but he knew she was always away.

She hummed to herself while thinking. "Well… right now I'm just working with company numbers."

He scoffed once more. "Sounds like fun."

She chuckled. "It's _loads_ of fun. But I'm sure you know about numbers. Karin has practically bragged about your smarts."

"Yeah. I guess you could say I know a thing or two." he mumbled. He knew for a fact he knew a lot, but no sense in bragging about your own intelligence.

"Oh really, well then would you mind helping me?" she asked with her smouldering viridian eyes.

His onyx eyes caught up with hers. Practically in trance, he nodded to the older woman.

She smiled. "Thanks you, Sasuke. I'll take a shower and I'll be right back." she paused to move more of her pink hair out of her view and wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her breasts into his back. "You're such a sweet kid Sasuke. Too bad Karin has you, or I would take you myself." she whispered huskily in his ear and finished with a kiss to his check.

Sasuke kept himself frozen during those sixty seconds of his life.

The _best_ sixty seconds of his life thus far.

He fought the urge to turn around and watch Mrs. Haru – Sakura's form retreat in the bikini as she hummed to herself.

Instead he stood still in spot thinking, _'What the fuck just happened?'_

But he didn't deny the reddish tingling that was spreading across his cheeks.

-

_We can hang around by the pool_

_-_

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! AND REVIEW PLEASE! :D  
**

**!(-KinkyK) **

**:E hypheniated**


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